They didn't listen after all...

Well apparently termination of service letters will be going out to families, but no one seems to be able to say when. The letters will supposedly say that they have 10 days of services left. Providers are worried that the DDD won't tell us when the letters go out, so I've been asking my families to let me know if or when they get one.
I've also learned that there was a lawsuit filed on behalf of all of the individuals, providers, and families affected by these cuts. I have it as a non-text PDF, but can't find it online anywhere that I could link to. Its pretty harsh, but its all true.
"...as explained here, the Legislature simply ordered severe cuts in essential services for severely disabled and vulnerable children and adults with developmental disabilities in violation of the Arizona Constitution and both federal and state statutes. This enactment was hurried, ill-considered, effectively shut out the public from the process, and provided the executive branch with no guidance, specifics, or designation of legislative priorities. In its rush, the Legislature mandated massive cuts in essential services with no concept of what would happen to epeople with severed siabilities, their families and care providers; and to the provider community, including whether provider services would remain available and accessible to consumers whose services were not intended to be cut. The way that DES-DDD proposes to implement the cuts will be disastrous to the health and safety of thousands of persons with developmental disabilities, and to the businesses that serve them...."
Where that leaves us, we don't know. Right now I think the plan is still to continue on until termination letters start arriving. When that might be, we have no idea. Overall, I think most of us are still in limbo/shock. Really, what we're being told is changing almost every day. Its hard to believe the DES could actually be cutting all of these services. Most estimates I've seen are that over 3000 families of kids ages 0-3 are going to lose all of their services (various combinations of EI, physical, occupational, and speech therapy). Besides the kids, that means most to all of those therapists and providers will have to take on new caseloads, if they can. I suppose there's still an outside chance that they'll decide to use stimulus money to keep the program funded (how's that for irony?), or that something else will happen.

Should I Bother?

That's been my question this week, every time I sit down to do something work-related. Do I bother putting together a few intake packets? What about the family I'm trying to start that hasn't been returning my phone calls? We are literally in a place where I could get a call tomorrow that it all goes kablooey as of Monday. Thankfully, that doesn't seem too likely since families haven't been getting termination letters. They ARE being told that authorizations won't be renewed, which means families won't be getting any new services, and many won't have services for much longer (most authorizations come up for renewal every 6 months). What's looking most likely right now, at least from my point of view, is that authorizations just won't be renewed, so kids will slowly drop off of the caseloads (mostly earlier than they should).
These are some pictures from the rally at the capitol building today. I don't know this woman, but I had to get a picture of her sign. I'd guess there were 400-500 people there- not a bad turnout for such short notice. And reasonably impressive when you squeeze them all into a fairly small outdoor area. :) There were also 2 news vans and at least one radio commentator that I saw walking around. I heard we were on both the 12 o'clock, and the evening news today, which is good. The more people see this and the less they are able to sneak it under the radar, the better. I did some searching and found a link to the video, but I'm having trouble embedding it, so here's the link.
I saw lots of families with young kids, and lots of adults receiving services. We tried to get in to talk to some of the senators and representatives, but were generally told that they were all in meetings, so we wound up leaving papers with secretaries and assistants. I saw a few important-looking people walking around appearing miffed that we were interrupting their day. Near the end of the day I ran into a speech therapist I know, and she said she'd been told that at least one senator was refusing to see people or take phone calls.

Here's our whole crew from Mosaic. I'm really happy that people from all of the different departments turned out, including the executive director and the HR lady. Granted, these cuts will affect everyone across the board, although differently. Really, though, the only person we left in the office was the receptionist.

Partway through the afternoon we went into the main area, thinking that the meetings and speeches were going to be here. We were wrong, but it was good for everyone to know we were there. :) One of the senators recognized all of the people from the disability community, so we all hooted and hollered a bit.
Once we realized we were in the wrong place, we hustled into the hearing rooms, where we got to listen in via closed circuit video. The hearings that were scheduled to start at 2pm actually started closer to 2:45. First they grilled someone about the cuts to higher education funding, then it was DES' turn. Some of what was said went over my head, but a fair amount of it made me want to scream. They basically said the cuts were going to hurt children, deny federally-mandated services, decimate the small businesses and nonprofits that provide services, and have more kids needing help when they are school-aged. And yet, they claim they have no other option for making up the budget shortfall.
So really, we did what we could. Letters and e-mails are still being sent, and we showed up and made ourselves heard. Oh, and I have a sunburn.

Not Ready For This

I passed a thermometer...Monday afternoon....I think. It read 90*F. Considering that its still February, I'm not ready for it to be hot yet. Especially since the Escort (my work car) still doesn't have a functioning air conditioner. Or a working radiator fan for that matter. Which means not only does it not stay cool, but that when I'm sitting in traffic or even stuck at a light it will actually try to overheat. The only remedy (other than pulling over long enough for it to cool down) is to turn on the HEAT and pull the warm air off of the engine. We (well mostly Chris) drove it like that all last summer, and I'm definitely not looking forward to repeating the experience. Somehow it seems less than professional to show up for an appointment drenched in sweat. We were thinking about using some of our tax refund to fix the Escort, but with everything going on at work we've decided that at least for now its smarter to keep the money. I'm not ruling out someone deciding to GIVE us a car, but barring a miracle we could be in for another uncomfortable summer. And I'm definitely not ready for that.

I'm still here...

but just barely. I've found that I unexpectedly have a rather full week on my plate, as I do my part to not get legislated out of a job. Or rather, out of an entire field. That's right. Because of budget shortfalls in Arizona, nearly all families are set to lose services for kids ages 0-3. This is in addition to the Medicaid cut that I already knew about that will make things even more difficult for adults with disabilities. It could all go kablooey as soon as March 1st. Yes, that's next week. Unless "we" (parents and workers out in the trenches), can get "them" (the people who are making the decisions) to change their minds. Despite the fact that studies show early intervention returns $2-3 for every $1 put in. Kids who get services early generally need LESS help when they get to school because they and their families already have a jump start. This LOWERS the costs of special education for kiddos who would otherwise have been right on the edge. Really, the state should be funding EI for MORE kids, not less. About 90% fewer kids, if my caseload is typical. So we're calling, e-mailing, writing letters, begging parents to write letters, and planning a rally at the state capitol building this Thursday. I'm praying lots of people show up- all of the providers in Arizona seem to be pulling together against this, since it will affect everyone.
No, I don't know what will happen to my job specifically. Right now its all hinging on what happens at this rally on Thursday. If you live in the Phoenix area and have any ties to early intervention, please consider coming or writing a letter. If not, well then I guess you can just pray.
Trust me, I realize that times are tough and budgets need cutting. There's plenty of that to go around. But SURELY, there must be SOMETHING else that can be cut! Something that won't ultimately cost more money in remedial services down the line. Something that doesn't seem to be solely designed to hurt people who are unable to speak for themselves.
Also on the chopping block here is funding for state universities. We will now be spending more on prisons than on colleges.
Sometimes I think we get what we deserve, but mostly I hate the irony.

Map fun...

No, I never thought I'd say that, but these were fun, even if I did do really badly at putting all of the European countries where they belong.
Go here to drag and drop states onto a US map, and here to do one of Europe.
What a way to learn geography- an online version of the USA puzzle we had when we were kids. Which is probably the only reason I know where half the states belong anyways.

Rice a Roni Chicken

For those nights when you just don't feel like cooking. Rice a Roni chicken is our version of my Mom's shrimp casserole- cheap, reasonably healthy, goes together quickly, and doesn't require much babysitting. We don't buy a whole lot of processed foods, but I do keep a few boxes of Rice a Roni (the 4 cheese flavor) around solely for "those" nights. I stock up when its on sale, and typically don't pay more than $.50/box, which makes this pretty inexpensive. The rest of the ingredients are all things we usually keep on hand. So here it is:
2 boxes of 4 Cheese Rice a Roni
about 1 lb chicken breast or tenders cut into small pieces (the chicken can be uncooked)
Several tomatoes, chopped
Frozen chopped broccoli
Lemon juice

Heat up a decent sized...um...whatever your word is for something large and flat like a frying pan, but with high sides. Put in a little bit of oil in it, and add in the rice a roni. When it just starts to turn brown, put in the diced chicken, tomatoes, frozen broccoli, however much water the box calls for (ours is 2 1/4 cups/box, so we do 4.5 cups), a healthy dose of lemon juice, and the flavor packets from the boxes of Rice a Roni. Bring it all back to a simmer, then lower the heat and cover. Cook it, stirring occasionally (the rice will want to stick to the pan), making sure that it keeps at least a simmer. When the rice is almost done, take off the lid and let it cook the last few minutes uncovered so the last of the water evaporates. Sprinkle some shredded parmesan on top if you feel the need. It will have more of a casserole-like texture than a rice-as-a-side-dish texture.
This feeds Chris and I with leftovers, so I'm guessing it could feed at least 4. If you're talented and know where to get powdered cheese sauce, I'm sure you could make this using regular rice, but since we aren't quite that talented I just use Rice a Roni. On "those" nights, its still better than takeout or eating out.

Too many thoughts

swirling around in my head. I must needs a brain dump before bed. I'm sure that's why I didn't sleep well last night.
I've decided I'm sick of politics. The no-stimulus plan is a mess, but then again AZ is looking at at least a 10% cut to Medicaid funding because the state is so badly in debt. That means fewer services for adults and kids with developmental disabilities. It looks like at least 850 families are going to lose Early Intervention services. Too bad that studies show that every dollar spent in Early Intervention returns $2-3 down the line for kids who end up NOT needing extra services once they reach school age. The cuts are going to drive some providers out of business because they just can't stay economically viable with the funding that they get, and they can't go elsewhere for income. That means that if residential homes close, people will literally end up on the street. The "current" reimbursement rate for EI is 6 years old. Imagine if you were still making the same amount of $$ as you were six years ago (actually, I'm making less than I was as a first year teacher- I just love the job a lot more). No cost of living increases, probably higher expenses (wages, health insurance, gas, etc). I'd love to have a politician switch places with one of my families for a day, then look them in the eye while telling them that Medicaid funding is being cut and they're going to lose services. Or go and work at a group home for a day- keep watch, clean up, and love on people. Oh, and make $8.50/hour.
I went to the Goodwill today looking for a skirt I saw earlier in the week (today was dollar day). The skirt wasn't there anymore, but I did bring home a bag of books. And those were just the ones that didn't let go. I browsed the children's books a bit and was tempted to buy every pre-1985 book before they're all illegal. More ridiculous laws. Basically any item intended for a child under age 12 is now assumed to have toxic amounts of lead in it unless it has been tested and shown to be safe. This includes books, specifically those written before 1985. For anyone who loves books, common sense (most 12 year olds do not eat books), and for the government to keep its nose out of my business, this is absurd.
There are threats again about passing the un-Fairness Doctrine, and even attempting to extend it to the internet. Because no one was using their freedom of speech anyways. Or maybe because they were using it? I can't help but think of 1984, where the government controls all press, and essentially rewrites history so that it always is and always has been in the right.
Why do I feel compelled to take all the problems of the world to heart? Why are there so many problems to begin with? Surely we must be spinning towards The End. I shudder to think it could get much more out of control than this, although I'm sure its possible. My prayers lately haven't been much more articulate than, "God, please help. Straighten this world out." All I keep coming up with is this, "and [they] exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles. ²⁴Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. ²⁵They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator (Romans 1:23-25)." Maybe its just me, but that's not exactly comforting. I guess everything just feels too BIG right now. I'm beginning to wonder if I need a media fast for a while. All of the its will happen (or not) whether or not I'm watching, and shouting at the wind isn't exactly doing me much good.
On second (third, fourth?) thought I do know how the story ends. God is still in control, and He will draw all people to Him.

Reading this almost made me sick....

and no, for a change I'm not ranting about politics- this might actually be worse.
Ex-Venice Teacher Acquitted of Abuse Charges. Read the entire article- if you can stomach it.

"O'Neill was accused of hitting, kicking and otherwise abusing four severely developmentally disabled students between October 2007 and January 2008. She had been a special education teacher at the school for 18 years before her arrest in February 2008."

She was accused of child abuse after parents of some of the children she teaches started complaining about their treatment in her classroom. One of the main difficulties with cases such as these (and the reason that both adults and children with disabilities are more frequently victimized) is that the people who have been mistreated often aren't able to testify on their own behalf (behalves?). In this case, the aides who worked in her classroom kept notes for 3 months on times when they claim she abused the students.

"O'Neill did acknowledge that she sarcastically called the students names, including calling one child named Olivia "Oblivia," and another child "tons of fun." O'Neill also said that she sometimes "bopped" them on the head with water bottles, boards and objects to get their attention."

Ok, I spent a year teaching self-contained special ed. It is HARD. You have to have a sense of humor in order to stay sane, and many people who work in the field have a really dry sense of humor. BUT, there's no reason to be making the kids the butt of the jokes. That's totally out of line, and in this case I'd say it qualifies as verbal abuse. Sadly, I've seen it before, and not just in special ed. When I was student teaching in a first grade classroom, the veteran teacher once asked one of the boys if he'd left his brain at home that morning, and had an obvious dislike for the two children in her class who had some special needs.

"That standard was made more difficult to prove than in some other cases because all of the students involved are so severely disabled that they cannot speak. They also have so many physical problems that there is no way to know whether she would have seriously injured them when aides say they saw her hit them on the head with objects, kick and push them. Although prosecutors argued some of the children received bumps on the head, bruises and scratches in O'Neill's classroom, the defense said that those do not qualify as injuries."

When I taught self-contained special ed, the kiddos I worked with all had behavior issues, in addition to their developmental disabilities. My classroom was a pretty physical place, and there were many days that I came home with bruises or bites. Some days the students were bitten or otherwise injured by other students in the classroom, as much as we worked to prevent it. These all qualified as "injuries," and each time they happened we had to fill out and file incident reports describing the circumstances and how the injuries occurred. We also were required to call the parents and explain what had happened. If either me or any of the aides had been seen hitting, kicking, or pushing the kids, I can guarantee you we would have been fired on the spot.

"An alternate juror who sat through the trial but did not participate in the decision said he was torn by the educators' testimony. Gerald Paquette said he could see how O'Neill's actions could be appropriate in a special education classroom, where students need a lot of physical interaction. "Maybe that is what you need to do to teach those kids," Paquette said after the verdict."

If reasonable, caring, people could be convinced that kicking, hitting, and name-calling count as physical interaction, and are, "what is needed," to teach kids with special needs, then those of us in the field have done a terrible job educating the public about what special education IS. First and foremost, these are KIDS. If a teacher of "regular" students was accused of doing what O'Neill supposedly did, she would probably have been fired, and likely would have lost her teaching license. The fact that it didn't happen in this case, solely because the jury couldn't be convinced that these kids were actually harmed by abuse, is an outrage. I hope the parents pull their kids from her classroom and sue the school district.
When we fail to protect the most vulnerable people in our society, we create a society in which no one is safe.

Weekend Recap

It's been a good, but busy weekend. More tiring than I usually like for weekends to be, but it was for a good cause.
Instead of doing something romantic and expensive on Valentine's Day, Chris and I opted to spend the day together and work on earning some money. To be fair, we did go out to Tagliani on Thursday for our Valentine-type celebration. Its our absolute favorite place for Italian food, and it didn't disappoint. I wish I had a good picture of our dessert- chocolate marscapone cake with strawberries and raspberries over it. It was so huge we had to take half of it home!
Anyways, we're really trying to build our emergency fund back up, between Chris doing taxes and us both doing odd jobs here and there (hemming pants, taking surveys, and whatnot). So yesterday we spent the day delivering for Edible Arrangements. They make those nifty looking fruit arrangements that look like flowers (but you get to eat them instead of watch them shrivel up). The opportunity actually came about sort of randomly- while browsing on craigslist a few weeks ago I came across a posting about florists looking for people to deliver JUST on Valentine's Day. It occurred to me that a place like Edible Arrangements might be doing the same thing, and lo and behold, they were! Chris and I filled out applications (which I suspect may have gotten stashed in a drawer somewhere), then when we didn't hear back I figured that in person is always better. I went to the store last Monday and told the manager we were interested in delivering. He told me it was fine for Chris and I to work together since they pay by the delivery, and that we should both come back at 7 on Saturday morning.
Which of course is exactly what we did. We delivered from 7:45am until about 3pm, and did 17 deliveries. At $8/delivery, that equalled decent money for a day's work even when you subtract out what we spent on gas (about 1/2 tank), and food (we packed a cooler full of sandwiches and snacks so we wouldn't be tempted by fast food). The store had everything made, packed, and labelled for us, so all we had to do was load up the bags and go. If we had a larger car we probably would have made more money by being able to carry more orders at once. One driver working the same store had a pickup truck and seemed to be taking about 15 deliveries at a time, while we were filled to capacity at 10. We also had some deliveries that were way out in the middle of nowhere. All told, we drove about 170 miles and got to spend the day hanging out. We were both wiped out when we got home, but I'd definitely do it again. As a matter of fact, we plan to. The store manager told us Mother's Day is the next big day and that we'd be able to do twice as many deliveries. I have it marked in my calendar so I'll remember to stop in at the store the week before and make sure we're expected.
Overall, I recommend it as a good way to make some money. With one BIG IF- IF you have a GPS unit, or can borrow one for a day. I have a fairly good knowledge of the area we were working and I still WOULD NOT have attempted to deliver without a GPS. It would have been way too difficult and we would have gotten really lost. The tickets that went with each order gave an address, and a few had written directions on the back, but mostly we relied on the GPS. I was able to borrow one from a friend for the day (thanks Jeni), but if you have a Verizon cell phone I think you can activate their VZW Navigator service for about $10 for one month, which is better than paying $2.99 per use, and you can cancel it at the end of the month. There are also websites that will rent GPS units for a short term, although you do have to pay to have the unit shipped to you. At any rate, with a GPS and a reliable car, you can make fairly good money.

Besides making some money yesterday, I got some great deals grocery shopping today! Fry's was running lots of specials, and of course I've been cutting coupons for anything I could conceivably use. It ended up that I spent $24, and saved over $74 off of the regular prices! I didn't take a picture, but I left the store with a TON of groceries. One of the best deals was finding red-tagged cartons of organic 1% milk for $.99 each. I bought 3 cartons. The expiration date isn't until the 21st, so we should be able to use it all by then- the first carton is almost empty already. I also got 4 jars of Ragu pasta sauce for $.50 each, 4 boxes of Ritz crackers for $1 each, and boxes of pizza rolls for about $.30 each. I know pizza rolls aren't exactly healthy, but at that price it's worth keeping some around for when I need something in a pinch.

New Shoes?

I walked into the living room the other day and saw this. The bookshelf sits next to our front door. Its the "dump spot" where everything lands when we walk in the door- purses, wallets, shoes, books, receipts, and apparently kitties. Chiam was just sitting there looking at me just like he belonged there. Unlike normal he didn't move as soon as I went for the camera.
It did take me a couple of tries to get rid of the psycho glowing cat eyes in the original picture. After all sorts of color adjustments didn't do the trick because the eyes were just too bright, I finally ended up cutting the eyes out of another picture and pasting it into this one.

Compared to the last few weeks, this week was almost blissfully uneventful. I managed to go through an entire week without an absence or cancellation, which almost never happens. Granted, I have one family that will be gone until the second week in March. I did have an all-day training on Tuesday, but when compared to the Most Boring Training Ever, it wasn't too bad.

Common Sense

I saw this somewhere, but I'm not sure where.
Enjoy!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,
who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old
he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic
red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable
lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early
bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my
fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend
more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not
children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old
boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens
suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a
teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his
condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing
the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining
their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental
consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became
businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from
a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed
to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled
a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and
Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility,
and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Books, Books, and more Books

Honestly, I think I'm still processing these, but I figured I'd blog about them anyways. I just finished The Mark of the Lion trilogy by Francine Rivers. I picked up the first book at a used bookstore years ago, and had never gotten around to reading it. A friend told me not to start the first book until I had all 3 in hand because the stories are written so you want to go from one book right into the next. I finally broke down and bought books 2 and 3 with a Barnes and Noble gift card I got for Christmas. Once I had all 3 books, I figured it was safe to start reading.
Well now that I've finished them, safe isn't exactly how I'd describe these books. The words addicting, mind-bending, faith-building, sleepless night-inducing, and downright fantastic do come to mind though. Its a mark of a great book that as soon as I finished I was sorely tempted to start the series over again from the beginning to see what more I could get from a second reading. These books are Christian fiction, but not in a predictable manipulative way. The characters are all realistic, and not a one of them is too good to be true. They're written by a female author, but they aren't chick-lit. They're historical fiction, but far from boring.
As someone who likes to write and fool around with words, I can't imagine how difficult it would be to write a good trilogy. To keep a story moving through 3 separate books. To be fair, the first two books go together and then the third book takes a minor character and follows his journey instead. Even so, the author weaves the same threads through all three stories. There were parts of all three books that made me laugh, parts that made me choke up, and parts that made me want to grab the characters and shake them. I've read a lot of books, and honestly these are some of the best I've read in quite a while. I know I'm rambling and haven't really said much about the plot, so here it is:
These books are set in Rome, a short time after the Ressurection. They begin with a Jewish slave named Hadassah, and a captured German named Atretes. Both arrive in Rome against their wills, and these three books are their stories.
And really, that's about all I can say, plot-wise. It may sound like I'm gushing, but these books have to be read to be believed. If you don't trust me, go read the reviews on Amazon.

Chocolate Festival

To Nicole (and anyone else who wanted to know):
The chocolate festival was great, and the perfect way to unwind on a Friday evenings. Since I've become the kind of crazy blogger-person who takes my camera with me almost everywhere (except to the office where I would have loved to get a picture of the Dogwood trees in bloom), I DID take pictures. Unfortunately, I haven't become the kind of person who brings camera batteries to go along with my camera, so I only managed to take ONE picture. This was the artwork at one of the booths. Those are actually photographs that he puts a glossy clearcoat over and frames! They were really gorgeous. I wanted the guy in the flannel shirt to be in my picture, but he walked away too soon.
Sadly, I DIDN'T get a picture of Chris eating a piece of chocolate-dipped cheesecake. He didn't get a picture of me eating it either. I also didn't get a picture of the guys who make homemade root beer. They are at the festival every year. They serve up their deliciousness in souvenir cups, and if you bring back a cup, a refill is only $1. Year after year. For root beer, a float, or a root beer slushie. I didn't get a picture of the chocolate mini-waffle with strawberries and ice cream that Chris and I split. Nor did I get a picture of the spinach and feta stuffed pretzel we ate when we'd decided that something savory was needed to counteract all of the sweet. I also didn't get a picture of the cinnamon roasted almonds we got to take home. What I should have taken a picture of, though, was the $1 bill we had left at the end of the night. Not bad, considering we only started with $20! Much better than the AZ State Fair, which we didn't end up going to anyways. I had to resist the temptation to go back today just to try and get some of the pictures that I didn't take last night. I don't need anymore chocolate, at least for a few days.

Looking up

To be fair and balanced (and so no one thinks I outright hate my job), I do have to post the good along with the difficult. At least one of my kiddos is out of the hospital. I think he's still sick, but apparently he was at least stable enough to send home. Hopefully I'll be able to see him next week- I miss going over there. My other kiddo is still in the hospital, but I think they're looking at releasing him soon. I also managed to find a speech therapist who will travel Way Way Beyond to see one of my kiddos who lives a long ways away. I think she actually lives out there, which makes it even better.
Oh, and all of my paperwork for January is done and filed, and Chris and I are headed out to the Chocolate Festival today!

Helpless

I bring my work home. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help it. When I was a teacher I brought it home physically; mostly projects to work on and papers to grade. Now I bring work home mentally. I think about my kiddos after I get home. I brainstorm, I pray (although probably not as much as I should), I worry (probably more than I should). Sometimes I wish I could do something physical to help; visit a little one in the hospital, find a therapist for my kids who need someone with more expertise than I have, bring a kiddo to my house for the night when I can tell the parents are near the breaking point, figure out whatonearth will help this kid who has both me and his parents totally stymied.
Yeah, its been one of those days when everything I have isn't enough. When I simply can't rearrange my schedule to accommodate everyone, no matter how much I'd like to. Actually, am required to. As if I could somehow wring more hours out of the day, or make my drive time between visits shorter. Including drive time, it took me 9 hours to see 4 kids today. Some of that is due to distances between visits. Some of that is because I have to see some kids at specific times because of nap schedules, work schedules, and changing phases of the moon. Trust me, if I could find a way to see 6 kids at 9am it would make my life much easier. Other than the minor necessity of messing with the time-space continuum enough to put myself in two places at once.
To make me feel a little worse, I just realized that I showed up to my last appointment 15 minutes later than I said I'd be there because I misread my appointment book. No one said anything, but then again Mom is pretty clearly at the end of her rope. She showed me the scratch marks from her son, and said he's been getting increasingly aggressive. We talked about some ideas for calming him down (he was totally off the wall today and didn't want to be touched at all), but I'm getting the distinct impression she's not buying my sensory-based approach. Dad is already pushing for medication, but Mom is reluctant. Please note: I have no problems with parent who make an informed decision to use medication to help their children, but I don't know if it would be the answer in this case. This is the part where I wish I was an OT with a whole sensory-room-clinic setup instead of an EI with a bouncy ball that I keep forgetting to put in the right car. Or at least a SpT so I could help him communicate instead of getting so frustrated he melts down and screams when he doesn't get what he wants. We talked about trying the gluten/casein free diet to see if that helps, but that won't happen until summer when everyone has a bit more time (Mom is a teacher). So for now we'll just try to push through, until I have another briliant idea, which may or may not happen before he turns 3 in August.
Besides that, I have another family that seems to have gone incommunicado. Little one is in the hospital again (or still, I'm not sure which anymore since I've only seen him once since Thanksgiving). I generally keep in touch with them via text messages since sometimes they have trouble getting cell phone reception in the hospital. Problem is that I haven't gotten any responses since last week, which has me worried. The support coordinator hasn't heard anything either, although that isn't unusual; she generally gets her information from me. I also have another kiddo that I think is in the hospital. I probably could have called and found out earlier, but by the time I finished debating whether 7:30 was too late to call a family with small children, it was 9:30, and that's definitely too late. It doesn't matter that I've had families call ME at 9:30pm, or at 6am for that matter. Really I don't mind that much, and I much prefer it to not getting a call at all, but on my end I try to keep somewhat normal "business hours."
Now normally, I'd end with some sentiment about giving this all to a God who is far from helpless, and knows infinitely more about all of these situations than I do, but I'm just not sure I have that in me today. So tonight I'll just pray that God watches over all of my families, and that He grants me rest so that I have something more to pour out tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow I'll even have some left over for Chris and I.

Well I have to say, I'm glad everyone seems to like the toys that I made. Both of them were super easy and inexpensive. I tried out the clothespin color wheel with one of my little guys today, but I misjudged a bit and his hands weren't quite strong enough to open the clothespins. I'll try it later in the week with some of my stronger kiddos. The memory matching game seems to be working out a little better. I did find that the cards tend to fall off of the board. When I originally made it, I just used some sticky tacky squares that I had hanging around, and figured they'd be strong enough. Its looking like I may have to re-think and re-glue. If I do, I'll probably either go with good old Elmer's glue, or something from my scrapbooking stash. I think Carey asked for more ideas, and I do have one or two more that aren't put together yet. Whenever I get them done I promise to post pictures, but no guarantees on the timeline since my schedule finally seems to be filling up again. :)
To those who commented on my Farm Grill photographs, thanks for the advice. Digital cameras have turned me into the type of person who snaps LOTS of pictures and doesn't necessarily consider what exactly I'm doing until I get them into the computer and think, "I should have..." For example, it wasn't until we were home and I got the pictures out of the camera that I realized I didn't have any shots of Chris or of me. At least with digital photography I can delete the ones that aren't any good without having to pay for developing. Actually, its been quite a while since I've printed any pictures. I really should get on that. Next time I see a good deal at Snapfish. Since I posted the original pictures, I thought it would be fun to post the pages that I digi-scrapped.Now, despite my resolution to give credit where credit is due I think most of the elements on this page were bits and pieces and I don't know their source. The one exception is the date bar at the bottom. That's from Vicki at A Work in Progress. If you're into digital scrapping at all, check out her website- I love her kits, and most of them are free (she's only just started selling things).Same here, as far as giving credit goes. I'm pretty sure the papers were just pulled from my stashes of odds and ends, so unfortunately I don't know who to credit.
I've also been working on scrapping the pictures I took at Christmas, but maybe I'll post those another day. Wouldn't want to put all of my eggs in one basket, now would I?